Cell Block Tango - Spell Block Tango

Chicago

We all love movies featuring Argentine tango. We’ve all seen The Scent of a Woman starring Al Pacino. One of the most popular movies is Chicago. This great 2002 musical won 6 Oscars, not to mention that in its famous prison-tango scene we can hear Hungarian speech from Hunyak the Hungarian prisoner. In the following three videos we’ll introduce you to the original version and two parodies.

Original version of Cell Block Tango

Check out the original version of Cell Block Tango starring Catherine Zeta Jones! For lyrics, scroll down

[Announcer, spoken] And now, the six married murderesses of the Cook County Jail
In their rendition of ‘The Cell Block Tango’![Women] Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!
He had it coming, he had it coming,
He only had himself to blame!
If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero, Lipschitz!

[Liz, spoken] You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like…Bernie! Bernie like to chew gum–no, not chew. Pop!
So, I come home this one day and I’m really irritated and looking for a little sympathy, and there’s Bernie. Lying’ on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing–no, not chewing, POPPING!
So, I said to him, I said “You pop that gum one more time…”
And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots.

Into his head!

[Liz and others] He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you’d have been there, if you’d have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same![Annie, spoken] I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he was single. We hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He’d go to work, he’d come home, I’d fix him a drink, we’d have dinner.
Then I found out, single he told me? Single, my ass! Not only was he married, oh no. He had SIX wives; one of those Mormons, you know?
So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual…
You know, some guys just can’t hold their arsenic![Annie and others] He had it coming, he had it coming
He took a flower in its prime!
And then he used it; and he abused it,
It was a murder, but not a crime![June, spoken] Now, I’m standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbrin in a jealous rage.
“You been screwing the milkman!” he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming, “You been screwing the milkman!”
Then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten. Times.[June] If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same![Hunyak, spoken] Mit keresek én itt? Azt mondják, a híres lakóm lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz. Én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Próbáltam a rendőrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg.[June] But did you do it?[Hunyak] Uh uh, not guilty![Velma, spoken] My sister, Veronica and I had this double act. And my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us. With the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks in a row–one two three four five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other! Well, this one night before the show we were down at the hotel in Cicero, the three of us, boozing and having a few laughs. And we ran out of ice, so I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door…
There’s Veronica and Charlie doing number seventeen… the spread eagle!
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead![Velma] They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn’t do it, but if I done it,
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it coming, they had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn’t do it, but if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

[Mona, spoken] I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I could possibly say. He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to “find himself”. He’d go out every night looking for himself, and on the way, he found…Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive.
And I saw him dead![Women] The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!

They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming all along!
‘Cause if they used us, and they abused us,
How could they tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming, he had it coming,
He only had himself to blame!
If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same–

[Spoken lines all overlapping] You pop that gum one more time–
Single my ass–
Ten times–
Miért csukott Uncle Sam börtönbe!
Number seventeen, the spread eagle!
Artistic differences—[Women] I betcha you would have done the same!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

Spell Block Tango

After having had won 6 Oscars it is not surprising that many others adapted the scene and parodies were born. Let’s see the Disney version starring characters from 101 Dalmatians, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Lion King and Peter Pan

Lyrics:

[Intro: All] Spots, Six, Fish, Uh-uh, Figaro, Wishes
Spots, Six, Fish, Uh-uh, Figaro, Wishes

[Spoken: Adam Lambert] And now, the six merry murderesses of
The Captain Hook county jail
In their rendition of the Spell Block Tango
[Refrain: All] Spots, Six, Fish, Uh-uh, Figaro, Wishes
Spots, Six, Fish, Uh-uh, Figaro, Wishes
Spots, Six, Fish, Uh-uh, Figaro, Wishes[Chorus: All] He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same[Spoken: Shoshana Bean] You know how people have this little habits that get you down?
Like Jasper and Horace, they didn’t know their fabrics
I asked for spots, no, not stripes, not dots, spots!
So I came home this one day and I’m really irritated
And I’m looking for a little bit of sympathy
And there’s Jasper and Horace, lying on the couch, drinking a beer with ten yards of dotted fabric
No, not spots, dots
So I said to them—I said, “You buy me dots one more time…”
And they did
So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots
Into their heads

[Chorus: All] They had it coming, they had it coming
They only had themselves to blame
If you’d’ve been there, if you’d’ve seen it
I betcha you would have done the same

Spots, Six, Fish, Uh hum, Figaro, Wishes
Spots, Six, Fish, Uh hum, Figaro, Wishes
Spots, Six, Fish, Uh hum, Figaro, Wishes

[Cassie Scerbo] I met Doc in a faraway land about two years ago
He told me he was single and we hit it off right away
So we started living together
He’d go to work in a little Jewish mine
And come home singing Hi Ho!
I’d fix him a drink, we’d have dinner
And then I found out
Single he told me? Single my glass
Not only he was married, oh no, he had six men
One of those dwarves, you know
So that night when he came home from work
I fixed him a drink as usual
You know, some guys just can’t hold their apple juice

He had it coming, he had it coming
He took a flower in its prime
And then he used it, and he abused it
It was a murder but not a crime

[Amber Riley] Now, I’m standing over the cauldron
Making us some catfish for dinner
Minding my own business
And in storms prince Eric in a jealous rage
“You’ve been screwing King Triton” he says
He was crazy, and he kept on screaming
“You’ve been screwing King Triton”
And then he ran in to my tentacles
He ran into my tentacles eight times

If you had been there, if you had seen it
I bet that you would have done the same

[Kimberly Cole] “Yes, but did you do it?”
Uh uh, not guilty[Todrick Hall] My brother Mufasa and I had this circus act
And my lady Sarabi used to tag along with us
Now, for the last number in our act we did this 20 acrobactic tricks in a row: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flips-flops, one right after the other
So this one night before the show, I go down to the hotel Figaro
Playing with the hyenas, having a few laughs
And we ran out of zebras, so I wen out to get some
I come back into the den, and there’s Sarabi and Mufasa doing number 17, the Spread Eagle
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out
I don’t remember a thing, I wasn’t until later, I was washing the blood out of my paws
I even knew they were dead

They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn’t do it
But if I’ve done it
How could you tell me that i was wrong?

They had it coming (They had it coming)
They had it coming (They had it coming)
They had it coming all along (I guess the Lion sleeps tonight)
I didn’t do it (he didn’t do it)
But if I’ve done it (But if he done it)
How could you tell me that i was wrong?

[Pia Toscano] I love King Stephan more than I could possibly say
He was an artistic guy, sensitive and full of wishes
But he was always trying to find himself
He’d go out everynight looking to find himself and on the way
He found: Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences
He saw himself as alive, and I saw him dead

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
Cause if they used us, and they abused us
How could you tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you had been there, If you had seen it
I bet that you would have done the same

Spots, Six, Fish, Uh hum, Figaro, Wishes

Cell Block Django

The folloving version is Cell Block Django scene from the movie Django, with the queens of pop music: Rihanna, Mariah Carey and Beyonce. Lyrics included underneath the video

[Intro (Spoken): GloZell Green] Alright, ladies, this is your new home and I am Mama Leakes
You will do as I say, this is real life not Orange is the New Black (Hahahahahaha)[Refrain: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] *Click*, kicks
Chris, uh-uh
Sharkeisha, no, this bitch
[Intro (Spoken): GloZell Green] And now, the 6 ratchet murderesses of Crenshaw County Jail
In their rendition of the Cell Black Django[Intro: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] *Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh
Sharkeisha, no, this bitch
*Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh, Sharkeisha, no, this bitch
*Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh, Sharkeisha, no, this bitch[Chorus 1: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same[Refrain: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] *Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh, Sharkeisha, no, this bitch (this bitch)
*Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh, Sharkeisha, no, this bitch

[Verse 1 (Spoken): Kendra Hill] You know how people have these little habits that get you down?
Like Bernie. Bernie liked to click tongues—no, not click, *click* pop!
So I’m opening up the VMA’s and I’m in rehearsals looking for a little bit of sympathy
And there’s Bernie sitting in the quick-change, getting her life and clicking—no, not clicking, *click* popping!
So I said to her—I said, “You miss this change one more time!” And she did
So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots…
*Bang bang into the room* *Bang bang*
Into her head[Chorus 2: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] She had it coming, she had it coming
Spit Myx Moscato in her face
I had to get her, she broke my zipper
This one’s for Roman and Lil Wayne[Refrain: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] *Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh, Sharkeisha, no, this bitch
*Click*, kicks, Chris, uh-uh, Sharkeisha, no, this bitch[Verse 2 (Spoken): Laila Odom] I met Breezy from somewhere in Virginia; I don’t know
And we hit it off right away *Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah*
I know, I know. I forgave his fine ass and we started writing together
He’d go to the studio, he’d come home, I’d fix him a drink, we’d have dinner
And then our song came out. Single he told me—single, my ass!
Not only was it not a single, it was not finished; it was half a song
So that night when he came home, I baked him a treat as usual
You know some guys just can’t hold their birthday cake[Chorus 3: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] He had it coming, he had it coming
He gained them pounds, look at him now *Look at me now*
Ri-Ri don’t need you, so bye, Felicia *Leggo*
I told that rude boy to take a bow[Verse 3 (Spoken): Simone Shepard] Now I’m standing in the elevator, just had some chicken for dinner
Minding my sister’s business, and in walks Jay looking like Baloo from the Jungle Book
“You’ve been screwin’ *Beep*,” I said; I went crazy!
And I kept on screaming, “You’ve been screwin’ *Beep*.”
And then he ran into my foot; he ran into my foot ten times[Refrain: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same[Verse 4 (Spoken): Jade Novah (Kendra Hill)] I’ve been accused of being a naughty girl, drunk-in-love driving, snatching wigs, causing a blackout at the Super Bowl
Why am I here? *Question* But I’m a survivor
They said I don’t write my own lyrics, I broke up Destiny’s Child, I faked my pregnancy
They even accused me of lip-syncing the national anthem
(Yeah, but did you do it?)
*Nuh-uh-uh* Hahaha. Not guilty[Verse 5 (Spoken): Todrick Hall] My sister, Chrysanthemum, and I had started a hair salon in my apartment. “Nap Time” we called it
My bae, Django, used to bust them taper fades with us, right?
Now, for the last couple months we was averaging like 20-some tricks in a row:
Press, curls, weaves, braids, up-dos, side-dos, lace fronts, lace backs—doin’ more black heads than a Proactiv commercial!
So this one night after work, we went down to the Motel 6, the three of us getting turnt or whatever, and we ran out of sizzurp, so I went out to get some
I come back, finna get crunk, eyebrows on flick, and there Chrysanthemum and Django—she only 17—doing the spread-eagle
I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out; I don’t remember nothin’
It wasn’t until later when I was catchin’ up on Worldstar, I even knew I had molly-whopped her head[Chorus 4: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] She had it coming, she had it coming
Cause she been creeping with my man
And if I see her, oh, I’m gon beat her
I’ll blop that hoe and her bloke again[Chorus 5: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] She had it coming, she had it coming
She only had herself to blame
Talk track and then you
Get dragged like Kenya
Because Sharkeisha don’t play no games[Verse 6 (Spoken): Jessica Aguirre] I loathe Miss Grande more than I can possibly say
She stole my whistle-tones, my riffs, and even my dimples
It’s like she went out trying to find herself and on the way she found Music Box, Butterfly, and Emotions
And I was like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?”
I guess you can say we had artistic differences
But there are none
She ripped off my voice, so I ripped that little ponytail right off her head
*I got one less problem without ya*[Bridge: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum[Chorus 6: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming all along
Cause if they used us, and they abused us
How could you tell us that we were wrong?[Chorus 7: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] They had it coming, they had it coming
They only had themselves to blame
If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same[Outro: Kendra, Simone, Laila, Jade, Todrick, & Jessica] You miss that change one more time
Single, my ass
He ran into my foot ten times
Why am I here?
Molly-whopped her
One less problem without ya